Recently my husband was asked to sit in a meeting where he walked away with some very grim insight into the future of his current job. That being said, I realize most men are hardwired to worry about things like job security and to obsess over things like work. It took me awhile to get this, but now I do. Over the years, upon coming to this place I have learned to be a bit more aware of Chw’s sensitivity to this, therefore encouraging him.
So, when he fumbled through our evening acting a little funny, I simply waited. At eleven when he sat me down and said we needed to talk, I sat down to listen.
He’s worried.
He’s worried to the point of coming up with crazy suggestions like selling all of our worldly possessions and moving to New Mexico. Or joining the circus…
From what I gather, he (along with other managers) has been given the task of finding ways to cut extreme costs or they are looking at time served in the unemployment line.
“We need a back up plan.” He flatly stated.
A back up plan.
For, you know, if our lives (as we know them) fall apart.
This really got me thinking…
Unfortunately my daily fantasy of living pool side in Phoenix, with my spanish tiled roof and rock front yard (just minutes from BOTH IKEA and Trader Joe’s) doesn’t really fit into the idea of an emergency back up plan. So, pretty much I had nothing to offer him. (suffice it to say I am NOT really a huge fan of the NM part of this plan. The circus thing I could work with because the circus has elephants, and giraffes. But also clowns, so it’s still a scary option, but doable.) So, instead I took the other side of the spectrum. Why did i have to wrack my brain over a back up plan, if I was able to single handedly revolutionize things at his company, therefore saving them loads of cash.
Genius right?
Brainstorming, at nearly midnight, here’s what i came up with…
{and personally, if you ask me, it’s an awesome first draft!}
- First off, the company spends roughly $30,000 per month in electricity. I immediately suggested applying for a grant that would cover a huge chunk of transitioning to partial solar energy. Then i chided myself, pointing out that wasn’t extreme enough. We are talking CPR extreme changes needed, SO I suggested: why not have their employees work in the dark? They can wear the little miner head lamps so they can work more efficiently, of course…
- Second, periodically there will be safety luncheons, or training lunches that are catered. As far as i am concerned this is a HUGE waste of money. I remember many a school day field trips where my mom was asked to provide a few dollars to cover my sack lunch consisting of a PB & J, an apple and a string cheese. There is no reason that these luncheons can’t function the same. Let’s face it, if these grown men feel like they would need more food- they can bring it themselves. Or what about a safety potluck? SEE! The possibilities are endless!
- Third, I feel that on occasion some of the employees can behave a tad on the need-to-be-babysat-6 year old scale of things. Being one who actually grew up and became an adult roughly twenty some years ago, I feel this is a little sad. I suggested letting a person from each shift go and hiring a drill sergeant to take their place. My prediction was that within 90 days things would be running far smoother than they ever have before, and with A LOT less screw ups.
- Lastly, was my extreme motivator. Earlier this week one of my husband’s employees was injured. Suffice it to say a VERY large metal drill (think radius of a tire) came fiercely into contact with his head. Not pretty… The good news though is, after an ambulence ride to the hospital, a ton of lost blood and a few days of R & R, he is doing awesome and itching to come back to work. I say, let’s slap a label on this thing (thus birthing the Head Gong) and throw it into the mix.
It would work like this:
- Employee A gets in trouble for constantly ruining parts due to his inability to stop day dreaming about ALSO living poolside in Phoenix. HEAD GONG.
- Employee B clocks in late 40 days in a row, actually rolling his eyes at my husband’s pleas for him to be on time and care about his job. HEAD GONG.
I mean we’ve already proven it to be safe and obviously highly effective… (read: itching to come back to work.)
Suffice it to say, my husband wasn’t really on board with any of my suggestions. He’s such a party pooper.
My new back up plan suggestion: Worst case scenario, i can be hired out by companies to revolutionize the way they do things, streamline their methods and save them money. I think it’s obviously a real hidden skill I have.
Rainy Day in May... 
Strange, I had one of "those talks" with my husband at about 11 pm last night. Worry, worry… except he's talking about giving UP part of his job, it's a long story. I think I should get hired and fix the problems where he works too… I mean we have all the right answers. Right?
I like your plan. :-)
I LOVE your plan!!!
The HEAD GONG could totally revolutionize…everything!
I love phoenix – a little too hot…. so, I'm hoping to gather up all our possessions and move to northern new mexico… haha!! seriously.
Good suggestions. I wonder why he hasn't jumped on board, written them all down and taken them to the next meeting. And hopefully, he will give you the credit for saving the company. But if this fails, the circus life could be good..
I hope his company is able to cut costs without cutting jobs, and take all your ideas into consideration. Seriously, it WOULD save money to have a SAFTY brown bag, and to fire unproductive workers. But I don't know what job he does. Hope it all works out. Being jobless is not fun.
ps. your hilarious. Hope you at least got a laugh out of your husband.