if it isn’t one thing…

Seriously… I just want to scream. 
I know, I know… I come back from this month long blog challenge and my first post is this. I know. I’m sorry. I just, I have no idea what to do. 
When the idea of homeschooling literally fell into my lap, it was two fold in reasons. 1.} Genny seemed to absorb more from the worst influences possible and execute her newfound abilities onto anyone in her way. things got ugly. 2.} The public school system here was admittedly lacking and it was not a good fit for her. We were already on the waiting list for her current school and so homeschooling until they called seemed like a good answer. 
It just so happened that would be almost four years. And eventually, despite my reluctance, we came to such an amazing place homeschooling wise. Through lots of bumps and bruises we found a rhythm that worked for us- and we ALL thrived. But, like most homeschool moms, as Genny approached middle school I began to question if I could do it. Was I enough? And then, magically, her name was drawn from the waiting list and the problems were solved. 
Except they aren’t… 
School, day one found Genny worried about whether or not kids would like her. I know it’s dumb, but lots of 12 year olds wear make-up (I’m not for that, personally) and I compromised that it might help her feel better about herself SO we allowed colored lip gloss and eye shadow. She was abundantly grateful. 
In a months time she has had detention, been caught in hundreds of lies (both at school and home), has been in multiple fights, has been responsible for the injury of a child, has gotten multiple F’s due to refusing to do an assignment… She has decided that shit is an appropriate word to be integrated into her vocabulary and that f*ck should be considered as well. She has gotten a boyfriend, lost a boyfriend, gotten another boyfriend and come home to tell us of a 13 year old student who is pregnant. Today we find out she is wearing thick make up at school and washing it off before she’s picked up. 
Maybe it’s just that it’s like going from 0-60 in a micro second, but I just fear the path ahead. If she were 15 I’d feel like some of this is age appropriate, but she isn’t. She is 12. An emotionally immature 12, at that. When we talked to her tonight she made it clear that she will do what she wants, when she wants, and we can’t do anything about it. 
I am so at a loss. 
It all comes down to trust. Whenever she isn’t supervised she will do whatever the other kids are doing. {did I mention the girl who is pregnant?} She lacks good judgement. She wants to impress the other kids. 
I have no idea where to go from here- what to do. 
I seem to have misplace my parenting manual… 
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8 thoughts on “if it isn’t one thing…

  1. Just in case you don't see this on FB, I'm reposting it here.Why not go back to homeschooling? Find a rhythm again even if it's a different one. However hard it may be, would it be more difficult than what you are doing now? Could it have better results in the end?

  2. Aubree, It isn't even the make up as much as it's the fact that she is being deceitful about EVERYTHING. She isn't applying herself at all. Her grades are horrible because she doesn't care. She spends all day getting into trouble.

  3. Misty I pray that your family finds its balance again. I'm with Cindee… homeschooling is an excellent way to choose influences and control peer pressures.

  4. Misty, wow! what a hard place to be in. You know what the first thing I thought of was? You should go to school with her. I don't know if or how that would work, but I have heard of parents doing that when there are problems that are going on in school. Maybe give her a week's warning to get it together, and if she doesn't straighten out, accompany her to her classes. I usually think that making lots of effort to let the teacher know that you are not just okay with your child's performance is good. Teachers and parents should be teammates. I know this doesn't always happen, but maybe if her teachers knew that you were not just some negligent parent who is always going to take up for your kid, they could work with you to find a solution.

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