We used to share everything.
Every joyful moment, every fear.
I am sad that it isn’t always like that. I am sad that it can’t be…
I can’t tell you things, like I used to.
I can not allow myself to open up and reveal to you because you are pretty much not there to listen. At the same token, I feel less and less available to you, too.
More and more i hear the same contrived apologies and excuses.
More and more i hear empty promises about moving on from here.
but really, more and more only the same old thing occurs.
I never imagined that it would be like this, between us.
i never thought our circle would come to a close and stop, I always imagined us journeying together forever.
and in ways, I am sure we will.
Our lives are interwoven.
But for quite awhile now you are all about you, and that is something that simply hasn’t gotten any easier to face. I don’t exist beyond your needs.
And when I really, truly need you- you vanish.
Over the past few months I have really, truly needed you and you have been absent.
To tell the truth, I am beyond hurt.
We’ve had this talk before.
I won’t say it all again.
I am sad.
The constant rejection though, it isn’t really worth it. I’d rather just not have you, than have the empty promise of you.
I wish we could rewind and go back to when I could tell you everything, but let’s face it- you wouldn’t even hear me tell you this…