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Guidance Counselor…

Someone, somewhere, is crouching and waiting to give their opinion. Always. 
Apparently there is someone (or more than one someone) who feels that my post about my dog implies that she is laying on the brink of death and that we are, in reality, heartless and cruel dog owners planning on senselessly killing our beloved pet. 
Allow me to set the record straight, and if I did imply that things were different than they were- Then it was likely due to overwhelming grief. 
{Because, you know, I LOVE my dog.}
-She still eats, twice a day. 
-She enjoys “cookies” and other treats. 
-She plays, some. 
-She sleeps a lot. 
-She is mobile and, when excited, completely full of high energy. 
-She is still bossy and barks whenever she wants. 
For someone who is not here every bit of the day, with her, she might even seem like the same exact dog she was a year ago. But she isn’t. 
When she goes outside, to go potty, she squats for almost 10 minutes. After those 10 minutes, she releases less than a tablespoon of urine. This is because she has a cancerous tumor, in her bladder. the tumor is placed in a way that surgery is not an option. She would go into immediate kidney damage and die. 
Her bladder sits between 95 and 100% full, all of the time. Her urine is backing up into her kidneys. The early stages of kidney failure are setting in. At this stage that looks like clumps of hair just falling out, mild diarrhea and vomiting when her bladder gets too full.  This typically was occurring around 2 a.m. and again around 5 a.m. but we’ve started setting alarms to take her outside so that she does not have to endure that. 
There is a medication we can give her that will simply slow the cancer progression, prolonging her life by up to three months. We love her, we are selfish- of course we considered this. In fact, my husband who is not ready to say goodbye, decided this. Until the reality struck me that an incredibly full bladder is so painfully uncomfortable and she lives with that EVERY DAY. 
Could we ask her to endure that, and worse, because we weren’t ready to let her go? 
We have read up on actual kidney damage and what that looks like. It’s gruesome. I can’t see her like that. Our sweet pets, who become such a vital part of our family, they don’t have voices to tell us when they are hurting. They don’t have a way to communicate what they want… But when we visibly see her decline (even if it’s just little bits) everyday, we have no choice. 
She deserves to enjoy her last days.
As it is, we have no way of knowing how much pain she is in. 
We decided to give her a week. A week where every day we dote on her, love on her and give her things she loves. A week where we can try to process this significant loss that we are inching closer towards. 
As her people, who love her, this is our decision. While some people have made it clear that they feel killing her when she is “fine” makes us horrible monsters- we know that interceding for her, and breaking our own hearts before the quality of life is greatly reduced to one of complete hell for her, is the right decision. 
The thing about this stage of things is that they can turn south, fast. The vet said, without medication, we were looking at weeks left with her. If things go downhill, we will move up our appointment and put her to sleep sooner. 
To those of you who have sent sweet emails, and comments- thank you… Truly, thank you. 
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6 thoughts on “Guidance Counselor…”

  1. That is so sad, Misty!!! It's such a hard decision to make, isn't it? But you are making the right one. Don't listen to anyone who says otherwise. They obviously don't know you & what a sweet person you are & how much you LOVE. (((HUGS)))

  2. Well I have to add my 2 cents worth (becasue I can't know that someone said something negative and just leave it at that)…I believe you love your dog and that you will do everything you can to do what is right for her. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you make wonderful memories with the time you have left.

  3. People make me so mad. Of *course* you have weighed all the options and are making the one that you (all) know in your heart is best for Makaila… because you love her. Period. It's not cruelty, it's compassion, and you shouldn't have to explain yourself. Thinking of you guys and sending you my love this week.

  4. Oh Misty how I feel for you. Some three months after my husband died his dog had to be put down. What a heartache on top of heartache for us all. But I remember that beautiful dog. His joy whenever he saw my husband. His sadness/disappointment after Robert died and, expecting to see his best friend, it was my son driving his father's car.So cherish her while you have her and remember all she has been to yu and your family.With love. J

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