A few days ago my oldest daughter was talking about making a list for the type of guy she wants. I had to smile because it reminded me of a list I myself had made, back in the day. In the days after a few high school heart breaks, but about a month and a half before I met Chw.
As any seventeen year old girl’s list would have, mine contained a few fairly shallow hopes. Beyond those, though, the one thing that I wouldn’t even consider budging on was that this guy, whomever he’d be, would have to have amazing hands. Great hands. Warm hands to hold. Hands that looked great, worked hard, loved to be held and could encompass mine.
The night of mine and Chw’s first kiss, (which happened after he asked if he could kiss me, just like i’d written on my wish list) I really took note of his hands. No, that’s not true… I fell in love with his hands. Seventeen years later, I grow to love them more everyday.
Those hands have comforted me through miscarriages.
They have wiped away countless broken and aching tears.
They have signed his name to some of my most treasured letters and cards.
They have dialed my cell number when he’s needed me.
They have paved the way for our family to have a roof over our heads and food on the table.
They have worked, along side my hands, to provide stimulation and therapy for our Reactive Attachment Disorder child when she’s needed it the most.
They tightly lace their beautiful fingers with mine, as we’re walking.
They rub my neck and forehead when I’m lost in a migraine.
They brush our daughters hair and play board games with her.
They are creative- they draw, they paint, they build.
Those hands, his hands, they reach for mine even when he’s deep in sleep…
Having a child with an attachment disorder has this way or redefining nearly everything about your life. For us, touch and affection was at the top of that list. Though his hands may have been an important romantic notion, when I was seventeen, they became the glue that would preserve both mine and our daughter’s sanity through the darkest times.
Today, in my 28 day challenge I will:
– Intentionally reach out to comfort my hard working husband. I will rub his hands, his neck and his shoulders. I will be affectionate with him. I will appreciate him, and all that he does, and make sure that he knows this…
– I will hold my daughters hand. I will brush her hair and love her. I will hold her.