marriage – Page 33

Choose Happy…

Published on May 2, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

These are the best sort of weeks. The short sort of work weeks, and that is the pretty cool thing about summer- there are a lot of short work weeks!

This weekend definitely deserves a trip to the cupcakery as we will be celebrating my husband’s birthday in the fashion of the things he love. I am so blessed to be around to celebrate and love this man!

Today will be busy with Thursday’s household responsibilities, and Friday’s household responsibilities so that I can make tomorrow all about Chw…

Maybe you should go choose some happiness and eat a cupcake too.

Just Sayin’…

disLIKE…

Published on May 1, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

Facebook has the potential to be this really cool thing. In a life that’s so busy with rushing, working, juggling and stressing- it allows us the opportunity to maintain long distance friend and familyships without really sucking a lot of effort out of us. Ironically, for many, Facebook is also a huge time suck, but whatever…

Facebook is also great when it comes to building your business. I learned this well, a few years ago, when my husband and I started a small photography adventure.

Facebook is a powerful, powerful thing.

Power isn’t always awesome.

I’ve heard of marriages breaking up over reconnections. I’ve seen the same stupid sort of bullying happen online, and I’ve seen people get truly hurt.

In fact, I got hurt. While I will be the FIRST to admit that I am not a perfect person- this scenario was one where I really did nothing but believe in the goodness of people.

A couple of years ago my high school best friend resurfaced and friend requested me on facebook. This request came complete with a long message about his* life now, a huge apology and other random little updates. It had been a really long time since we had seen each other. (like 17 or 18 years.) {*because of the history of our marriage and my husband’s affair early on, Chw and I very guarded about this sort of thing. Before I accepted the request, he had read the message and was very much a part of the conversation between us from the beginning. Chw is also an amazing husband and he knew how much the lost of this friendship had hurt me early on so he was beyond excited for us be in touch.}

Messages continued for a couple of weeks. Surface stuff about our families, careers, etc. Then, suddenly he was going out of town for work. He sent me his number and asked me to text or call him that weekend. Again, Chw and I talked about it and decided that a text was best. So I texted him. The next day his girlfriend (of almost the entire time I hadn’t seen him, but I didn’t know her personally) facebook messages me the most heinously vile attack I’ve ever read. It was akin to a Jerry Springer episode in an email. Thinking she misunderstood (While Chw was just really angry and protective of me) I tried to explain to her that I was happily married and that my husband was right there, involved, and nothing sordid was going on. Of course, she didn’t believe me. It was too much, I felt horrible for having put her in that position so I sent him a quick note explaining that I knew what being betrayed in a relationship felt like- and that I felt awful to have her feeling that way because of me. It literally made me sick. I unfriended him and moved on.

Months later, while our family was on vacation, he recontacted me. Once again he had an apology, this time for her. He explained he had been unfaithful many times and she was defensive, BUT that things would be better this time. I was skeptical, but Chw was beyond skeptical. Sure enough, a few days later, her emails came again. I was called a whore and a husband stealer. It was ridiculous drama that, high school best friend or not, my time was far too valuable to deal with.

Roughly a year after that, he contacted me again. I was curt, at best. He and my husband worked near each other and Chw suggested maybe they meet for lunch and hang out. He wanted to talk to him about how this garbage was not ok and that we had no room in our lives for this nonsense. We do operate on a ZERO DRAMA policy, and honestly- I love it. Of course, this “friend” never did follow through with that, but his daughter did contact me in the in-between time, blaming me for destroying her family and stealing her dad. I was done. My husband was beyond angry at this point, bless his heart.

I never blogged about this because it was a waste of time. The entire story is stupid and irrelevant. I had worried for years about this friend because there had been drugs and poor choices involved. I reconnected with him long enough to learn he’d cleaned up and had a lovely family. As far as I was concerned, this was a happy ending. MY marriage and MY family are my top priorities, every time. Whatever was said or went on between he and his family- that was their business. It’s been almost a year, and I honestly very seldom even think about any of it… That is, until I hear from a “friend” that they were told a very different story about what happened. Then, another mutual friend relates a tale to me about how I am a whore and husband stealer. Baffled and in tears, I show the text to my husband.

The moral of the story is, sometimes we can guard ourselves, protect ourselves by doing things the right way- and still get hurt, with our reputation decimated in the process. I guess. the moral of this story, kids, is that at least I prioritized what was important and my husband and family are great. We did talk to our kids about what had happened (er, was happening, since it’s all of a sudden a gossip mill of cruel fabrications out there…) and hopefully it will be some sort of a social media lesson- though I don’t know of what.

Hell-o…

Published on April 23, 2013April 29, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments

Just when I’m feeling better, I get the start of a major migraine right before bed. Thinking I’ll sleep it off, I wake up mere hours later in the worst face/head pain I can imagine. Preferring (more than likely) the idea of someone stabbing me in the face repetitively- I have no choice but to realize this misery is sponsored by the joy that is seasonal allergies. What girl could be so lucky as to endure a severe, post pneumonia lung infection and an allergic mutiny within the same small time period? Apparently me. *insert feeble, minuscule, sarcastic YAY here*

Big shout out to my husband, who was there to stumble from bed in search of antihistamines, over the counter headache meds and an ice cold washcloth. I couldn’t have survived the half hour of increasing pressure/pain with him. Seriously, I couldn’t.

I have been regularly consuming local honey in an effort to thwart this hellishness, but either it’s not working as hoped OR it would have been a trillion times worse. Let’s be honest, if it were actually a trillion times worse, I would stab myself in the face repetatively.

In other news, I am absolutely obsessed with the Boston Marathon bombing case. I was glued to the manhunt, and am now an absolute glutton for anything that follows regarding charges, etc. Last night when my boyfriend was doing his CNN show, it was mentioned that the trial could be two years out and the reality of my obsession hit me square in the face: that’s a pretty big commitment if I plan to be exclusively seeing this news story on top of my romance with Anderson Cooper and my marriage. Something will have to go, and I don’t think it will be AC or my husband. Drats… The ironic thing is, I’m not a news watcher at all. If I turn the tv on, and my boyfriend’s show is on- I’ll likely get sucked in, but I rarely turn the tv on when Anderson is on so that’s maybe a twice a month rarity. Maybe. Things like this happen though, and suddenly I’m all about the “news”. I wondered, recently, what that says about me. Girl, too easily depressed by news, gets obsessed with national tragedy news and has to ween off slanted media news updates like recovering drug addict. Hmmm. Then, yesterday, in an effort to control my itching need to turn on CNN midday, I chose Pinterest. Seemed like a logical distraction, that is until I stumbled upon a friend’s post about the 10 skills needed to survive in a post collapse world. Two-thirds of the way through the list, panic set in and I realized I would die in this post collapse world {that is, according to this article, an absolute to happen and probably before I am 40}, and that there is very little I can do about it. Then I realized that familiar panic was the very reason why I don’t usually watch the news. I took deep breaths, asked myself WWACD? {What would Anderson Cooper do?} And I imagined him there, with his “Are you really serious right now?” Expression, all squinty eyed and glorious- and it was enough for me to regain my sanity/breath and move on. You can call it denial, I like the term hopeful. You know, God is bigger than the boogie man, type stuff. Only, in this case, replace boogie man with post collapse world. Breathe…

Speaking of breaths… My word for the year is Breathe. Isn’t it ironic? Though this is something I meant more figuratively- I feel someone (other than me, they never take me seriously) should have a chat with my sinuses, as they aren’t really heeding the instruction to breathe well… Figuratively, I’m doing pretty ok in that area. My crazy-busy, date book ruled schedule opened right up after the move, seeing as I have no friends or colleagues to schedule things with. I wonder WWACS? {What would Anderson Cooper Say?}

Hmmm…

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Heeeere’s Johnny!

Published on April 8, 2013April 8, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

It’s raining today, in our little midwestern town. I am not complaining, I love a good rain. We are nearing having been in this house a month, (I can’t believe it) and though we aren’t quite as settled in as I’d hoped- this weeks call for rain and thunderstorms motivates me a bit. I am one who likes to jump in and get things done, so I am more than a little irritated that there are still an array of boxes in our garage. Of course, it hasn’t helped that I am on week three of a pretty severe cold/infection. All things considered, we’ve got quite a lot going accomplished. I’m waiting to post photos, until everything is done. The grand tour will come then.

Our 19th anniversary was last Tuesday and so on Saturday a friend hung out with Gen and we went on a little date. We went to dinner at a local Hibachi Japanese Steakhouse, only to realize very early on that this made us a bit homesick because we had one back home that we frequented often with dear friends. It’s bound to happen I guess. At any rate, we ended up at this enormous grill table with one other couple. They were older than us, and informed us early on that they loved to chat. It was actually really cool to spend the whole of dinner talking with complete strangers, over juggled knives and the most amazing salmon and steak ever. Our waitress (who was a brunette, but truly a blond at heart.) must have agreed that we had great social chemistry because she brought all four of our meals on one check. Could not have asked for a better evening, honestly.

My husband spent the weekend painting and I couldn’t be more thrilled. My kitchen is now the color of sunshine, and though its really brighter than our norm- considering the grey days this state has- it’s an effective choice for sure.

I am ready to feel better and get out there and meet people. An almost-month is a long time to just see a few old friends and thats it. I am not stir crazy yet, but my thoughts are referencing The Shining a bit more often than I’d like. (I Kid…) I am rejoining my old book club and am very excited about that! It ranks up there just behind the excitement I’ll have to park in my garage and never see another cardboard box again. I’m going to grow old and die in this house- I swear it. Never. Moving. Again. As my beloved Mama would say, “I’m too old for this crap.” Only she wouldn’t say crap, but whatever. It’s all poop in the end.

Kind of like this random post about nothing. It’s simply my attempt to connect with civility by any means possible.

She who goes on a lot of dates…

Published on January 28, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay7 Comments

If one were to decide to randomly label this past weekend with a theme, said theme would be dating…

Why is that, you might ask?

Because dating is all that I did.

On Friday afternoon I took my youngest to an eye appointment {will pretend that nothing stressfully evil happened there, with dreadfully smelly eye tech.} and then out to lunch and dress shopping for an annual dance she has, coming up. We had a grand and lovely afternoon, complete with kicking our feet up at the local fro-yo place and watching some bizarre TLC show about brides- that she apparently loves.

As if that was not all lucky enough, Friday evening I got to go out with a few girlfriends and despite the intense fog and super slick conditions- it was exactly what the past couple of weeks have needed. We saw a movie and then went for drinks and chatted until a time that Cinderella never could have stood for. Thanks to my pomegranate margaritas, and sheer exhaustion- i was asleep withing minutes of getting home.

Waking up to fresh waffles, from my dear husband the breakfast king, was wonderful- but forging through the even peanut butter thick fog to get a spa pedicure and have my grey touched up was EVEN better. Dating myself was a little fantastic and certainly something that doesn’t happen with enough frequency.

As if all of that wasn’t enough to make a girl feel absolutely head over heels about the weekend- my husband whisked me away on a lovely little date complete with a movie, {Zero Dark Thirty} incredible Thai food, hours of brilliant conversation and dreaming following by drinks and cheesecake. The latter part of the evening was an after thought inspired by his craving, and something we never do. We make it a point to go to the Cheesecake Factory around my birthday, every year, when patio seating opens. They have a salad I love, but for the most part their cheesecake is fairly overrated and over priced. That being said- it was a date so whatever… I also never go out for drinks twice in a row, (or twice in a week for that matter) but again- date, blah blah blah. Imagine my complete and utter shock though when our ticket revealed that my drink was $9 and my husbands (which was much smaller than mine) was $11. Do what? Our drinks, (not to mention the slice of cheesecake) cost more than our dinner.

Let me repeat- MORE THAN OUR DINNER.