just a telegram…

So sorry for the silence… 
It started because I had a massive migraine. 
Then it continued because my son Lucas is home on leave, from Germany, before he deploys.
Then it continued even more because my sweet puppy got incredibly sick. 
But, i finally slept last night and decided, upon waking, to let you know what’s up- and then continue the silence until our little family unit survives the weekend… 
In the meantime- it is more important to steal a few minutes and see what’s up with you? 
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On growing old…

i have written before about my unique high school career. it’s safe to say though, that i didn’t really “get” the social pyramid structure until college. 
It was overwhelming, at best. 
In the days since college, I have been in various settings where I either fell at the top of the system, at the dung heap bottom of the system or, in a few rare instances, managed to climb my way towards the top. 
It’s funny, really, how these things work… 
That being said, I had signed up to take a class. It’s a fitness class. In the water. I signed up long before I knew Genny wouldn’t have a successful transition in the art school. I had all but decided to give up on the class when it occurred to me to simply take her along. 
You know, because i need something for me. 
So, last week we started “our” class. 
Twenty-ish people in the luxuriously warm hydro pool. Of our group of twenty-ish, two were under sixty. 
If you guessed my twelve year old and I- you are correct. 
As you can imagine, the class somewhat caters to the elderly. It kinda should, I guess, since it’s an arthritis class. Whatever. 
Fine. I have arthritis. There. I’ve said it. 
It settled into my right hip before i had reached the age of 10, due to a disorder. i struggled with my right knee, as a result. When I was 16 though, and my adorable little sister of 13 pushed me off a ski lift- my knee was trashed and eventually the arthritis love spread to it too. In the 19 years that have followed, it has managed to affect the ankle too. As if i weren’t already the luckiest girl in the world- about six years ago I broke a section of my right foot at a water park and guess what speculatively has arthritis now too??? Yay me. 
So, for pain management purposes, i thought this class could potential rock. 
Plus, i LOVE swimming, and water- so it’s even more awesome. 
Socially though, i think it will be less of an amazing experience. 
The old people don’t like us. 
The old people have cliques. 
We don’t fit in. 
The old people flirt, and banter. One old man is the definite ladies man of the bunch. 
I had already formed this conclusion before the instructor announced that one of our classmates needed us to “huddle around” because she had something to share. 
One of the members of the bunch died of a massive stroke on Friday. 
I am fairly empathetic so I immediately had to fight back tears, despite having never met him. The friends all began talking about him, and how fun he was, and how much they’d miss him. They referred to him as the life of the party
It was around this time of the very moving share time, which I viewed from the outskirts- when one sweet little lady piped up and said “What? Dave is really dead? It’s his birthday today. Facebook told me and I just facebooked him a message telling him happy birthday! I can’t believe it.” 
To which someone else said, “Oh, is it. I didn’t make it to facebook this morning.” 
A few moments of silence passed and one man spoke up, “I’ve been meaning to tag him in those photos from Lucy’s birthday party. I’ll do that today.” 
More stories of Dave were passed around and then someone mentioned maybe they should “hang out” after lunch. 
Pretty much, those whole experience left my jaw perpetually hanging open…
Facebook. Hanging. Cliques. Parties. Flirting. 
How awesome with elderlyhood be???? 
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à l’examen…

Can you believe it’s the last day of January? it blows my mind how quickly time moves when you are into your adulthood… 
Today is a good day! 
Today is the birthday of someone who is, and will forever be, very dear to me. Not a year passes that i don’t think of this person and the amazing gifts they have- and send them good thoughts and love when this day comes… 
Today is also the birthday of one of the MOST INCREDIBLE women i’ve ever know… Her name is Joan and she truly is the most amazing woman on the planet… 
Last, but not least, today is the day that my Lucas is en route to the US, from Germany, for his pre-deployment leave! WOO HOO! Even having him on US soil will do my heart ridiculously good! 
In review of my January goal list, i didn’t do awful. I didn’t drink “no soda”, but it was a rare thing. {Very rare} so I’m not too upset about it…

And, I had to change a few things up in my photo challenge, for the month. Like, the fact that there were NO icicles, and that there was no bundling of children because the one day it was frigid enough for such fun, we were trapped at home… 

 Pajamas… 
first meal… {sort of…} 
 Something new… Chw shaved his Goatee of 15 years and poor Genny was NOT pleased.
 Cup of tea and books to read… 
 Winter reading… 
 first snow of the year. {that’s as good as it got, folks…}
 our Tree… January. 
 Cup of steaming soup… 
 Baking… 
 Happy Birthday, Kaileigh… 
And a bonus… :) 

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On tender…

Start…
There is this way in which is hand reaches for mine, this way in which love courses through his fingers as they intertwine with mine. A way in which he kisses my gently, that breathes more life into my sometimes tired spirit than any thing else alive… 
The tenderness that comes from him is something that doesn’t just blossom when boy meets girl. It does not simply click on when vows are taken. It is a thing of wonder that comes with forever of knowing one another. 
There was a day, hands around throat- tempers raging our already stormy seas- when I believed it not possible. 
Such days were early. Young. 
Today is old. Not quite rockers-on-porches old but easily paving the way towards even more tender. 
Surely there’s a reason growing old is categorized under tender… 
wrinkled mouth kisses, frail hands, palm to palm. 
I am happy for today, our somewhere tender in between. 
Grateful, even more so. 
Stop.
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journaling {week two}

IN MY LIFE THIS WEEK… 
It was a good week, over all. Monday started rocky but we got some good news, (major answer to prayers) and so that was a good thing. 
I also got a few fun freelance opportunities. 
We celebrated the second birthday of my amazingly beautiful miracle niece, Kaileigh, which was great… And then there was lots of chaos and going…  
IN OUR HOMESCHOOL THIS WEEK… 
I decided to go easy on myself and get over the self imposed guilt and pressure… and though still a big rough- there was definite improvement! 
We studied time management and I think keeping a time journal was a good way for Genny to see how incredibly long she takes on things. A typical day would have her moving through school at a defiant, turtle pace and then getting angry at me because she finishes so late and I give her too much. The journal motivated her to get through things well, with no “corrections” and she found she could be done by lunch, or soon there-after… 
I AM INSPIRED BY… 
I have some really lovely people in my life. I have a friend whose mother is fighting breast cancer and both mother and my friend have been incredible sources of inspiration for me. 
We found out, for certain, about our daughter Amanda’s ship out date for boot camp. Her eagerness and excitement inspires me, as well as scares me. With Lucas preparing to deploy this spring it is all a lot of overwhelming fear junk for my heart, but still, when I am honest with myself I realize that both of them just BLOW ME AWAY… 
They make me take notice of the present in a powerful way. 
PLACES WE’RE GOING, PEOPLE WE’RE SEEING… 
We have a field trip to the aquarium today, which we are looking forward to. We had went to a local coffee place for chai and no bakes while we read our literature book and wrote letters. It was amazing. We went swimming, Genny had two basketball practices and a game tomorrow. Looking forward to family date night tonight. Going to pizza and to see a movie. 
MY FAVORITE THING THIS WEEK WAS… 
It’s a tie…
1}On Tuesday night Genny’s basketball team had team photos. Since she’s part of a community sports league this meant that there were literally hundreds of kids, (of all ages) conglomerating in groups of their team t-shirts, awaiting their turn. It was a long, tedious evening. As Chw and I had nothing to do but sit at a table and send stupid text messages back and forth. We discussed philosophical things such as frozen yogurt and displayed our mad-skillz making many emoticon faces. At one point he says to me, “we’re so lame.” 
2} Roughly a half an hour later we are home, and he (wearing contacts) picks up the pair of eye glasses on his  nightstand and says “I really need to order new glasses. These are all scratched up, I mean-” He then puts them on his face to further point out their flaws when he jumps back AT LEAST a foot and shouts “WOAH! WHAT THE HECK?!?!?” I immediately start laughing. Wearing your contacts? His slight “oh, yeah.” reassured him nothing catastrophic had happened to his vision. 
Lucky for me, i’m a little less lame. :)
THINGS I AM WORKING ON…
A few freelance projects coming on. Looking for inspiration for my Smash Book, so I can get it started. Planning a couple of small parties… Nothing too major. 
I’M READING… 
Trying to read (still) Lost by Greggory Maguire. I don’t know if it’s that my last book was so real life/sad that this tale is losing me, or what the deal is really… Hopefully by next week it will be a DIFFERENT tale! 
SHE’S READING… 
Treasure Island. :) 
I’M COOKING… 
Macaroni and Cheese; Fish Tacos; Fresh Baked bread… Nurture, nurture, nurture… 
I’M GRATEFUL FOR…
So, so much. Healthy husband. Healthy kids. Heat and roof over my head. A passion for writing. A handful of amazing friends. My camera. 
I’M PRAYING FOR… 
My kids… Lucas is getting ready to come home on leave and Amanda is getting ready to leave for basic. Genny is really struggling and I feel like i don’t have it in me quite often… 
My sister’s health is a gigantic mess. I miss her so much, I feel in so many ways like I’ve lost one of my best friends. She just isn’t able to be there for me anymore and though I totally understand- i miss her something awful. 
A PHOTO, LINK, VIDEO OR QUOTE… 
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