Love is…

This time of year, you hear and see so much about love. 
it’s every where. 
And it’s kind of sweet, except that it’s not really love. it’s false stories about pretend people. It’s heart shaped boxes and imaginary cupids with arrows and wings. It is songs written out of honesty, but containing only the deepest and best parts of the love itself- never the whole truth. 
Love can be witnessed through photographs in a coffee table album, but it can’t ever live there. Thrive there. Die there. 
Love is a choice. It is not hateful words, months of selfish actions and then three little words said in a goodbye. Sometimes people want to love, but they can’t see past themselves to do it. Sometimes. 
I am not perfect. I am not some poster parent by any means, but I have been learning a lot about love. 
Love IS non-judgemental. 
What that means is that there is no judgement about one’s choices. What that does NOT mean, is that in place of judgement I will encourage them, embrace them (them being the choices), etc. 
Love IS un-conditional. 
What this means is that no actions, words, choices or anything will ever affect the love, change the love, alter the love or destroy the love. What that does NOT mean, is that the one who is loved has the right to use, abuse, lash out at, hurt, etc- the one(s) who love them. Un-conditional love does not mean becoming a door mat to the hostility of the ones you love. 
Love IS supportive. 
What this means is that, regardless of the choices or actions one makes, you will stand by them for who they are at the core of themselves. You will allow consequences to fall, but never waver in lifting them up and embracing them through it. What this does not mean is that you bail them out, embrace their belief that they bear no responsibility in what has occurred and reiterate how much of a victim that they are- enabling them further into the lie. 
Love IS ugly. And painful. 
It just is. Sometimes it’s lovely and reaffirming, but often it isn’t. It’s hard, and it’s lonely. it is always. it is forever. It consumes you and hurts you because the person(s) you love may not always love you back… but it doesn’t matter because love is real and love is there. 
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just a telegram…

So sorry for the silence… 
It started because I had a massive migraine. 
Then it continued because my son Lucas is home on leave, from Germany, before he deploys.
Then it continued even more because my sweet puppy got incredibly sick. 
But, i finally slept last night and decided, upon waking, to let you know what’s up- and then continue the silence until our little family unit survives the weekend… 
In the meantime- it is more important to steal a few minutes and see what’s up with you? 
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Journal {week 3}…

IN MY LIFE THIS WEEK… 
School aside, there is a significant decrease in the tension and drama around the house. That’s a very good thing as it’s been growing increasingly more suffocating for a long time now. It’s amazing to sleep a full night and wake up feeling peace. 
A lot of the sleep and the peace though come from just letting go and realizing that we are powerless. 
I’m a slow learner. 
IN OUR HOMESCHOOL THIS WEEK… 
Oh man… ROUGH, ROUGH week. 60% blatant defiance and 40% pure exhaustion. 
Not much got accomplished, and certainly nothing extraordinary. 
We did do a bit of studying on career paths, talents, strengths and abilities. 
We also spotlighted poetry for literature. That part was really lovely actually. We gave it the chunk of an afternoon and I wished it wouldn’t have ended… 
I AM INSPIRED BY… 
the stories you read/see of people who true difficulties that they overcome with amazing success- all because they try and work heard to do it and don’t play the victim card. (People with no legs, playing sports; a mom with no arms being a stay at home, homemaker with her baby; etc…)
PLACES WE’RE GOING, PEOPLE WE’RE SEEING… 
Swimming, basketball practice, basketball games, field trips, movies and dinner with friends, life group, youth group, super bowl get together… I kind of feel like all we’re doing is going. Tonight i get to have craft club. we’re a small group but I think even if it was just me- i’d love it… 
MY FAVORITE THING THIS WEEK WAS… 
My monday night phone call with my BFF. It really centered me in a way i’d been needing. 
Second to that would be that I started doing the Writer’s Book of Days in a journal and it feels really great! 
THINGS I AM WORKING ON…
being more patient. 
making my way to my manuscript. (When???) 
finding the magic solution that will make our school days so much less traumatic. 
I’M READING… 
The death and life of charlie st. cloud by Ben Sherwood
Poetry
SHE’S READING… 
Poetry
I’M COOKING… 
cookies; roast with root vegetables; an awesome mushroom and sun-dried tomato pasta; tortellini and spinach soup; fresh bread; berry loaded muffins… 
I’M GRATEFUL FOR…
My rock of a husband. My small handful of dearest friends. They are my sounding boards, my cheerleaders, my sources of courage and strength. SERIOUSLY grateful… Two arms that work, two legs that work, a neck and back that work. 
I’M PRAYING FOR… 
My friends who have found themselves unemployed for far too long now. 
A PHOTO, LINK, VIDEO OR QUOTE… 

my nephew… he’s way funny. 
He makes me smile. :) 
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à l’examen…

Can you believe it’s the last day of January? it blows my mind how quickly time moves when you are into your adulthood… 
Today is a good day! 
Today is the birthday of someone who is, and will forever be, very dear to me. Not a year passes that i don’t think of this person and the amazing gifts they have- and send them good thoughts and love when this day comes… 
Today is also the birthday of one of the MOST INCREDIBLE women i’ve ever know… Her name is Joan and she truly is the most amazing woman on the planet… 
Last, but not least, today is the day that my Lucas is en route to the US, from Germany, for his pre-deployment leave! WOO HOO! Even having him on US soil will do my heart ridiculously good! 
In review of my January goal list, i didn’t do awful. I didn’t drink “no soda”, but it was a rare thing. {Very rare} so I’m not too upset about it…

And, I had to change a few things up in my photo challenge, for the month. Like, the fact that there were NO icicles, and that there was no bundling of children because the one day it was frigid enough for such fun, we were trapped at home… 

 Pajamas… 
first meal… {sort of…} 
 Something new… Chw shaved his Goatee of 15 years and poor Genny was NOT pleased.
 Cup of tea and books to read… 
 Winter reading… 
 first snow of the year. {that’s as good as it got, folks…}
 our Tree… January. 
 Cup of steaming soup… 
 Baking… 
 Happy Birthday, Kaileigh… 
And a bonus… :) 

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journaling {week two}

IN MY LIFE THIS WEEK… 
It was a good week, over all. Monday started rocky but we got some good news, (major answer to prayers) and so that was a good thing. 
I also got a few fun freelance opportunities. 
We celebrated the second birthday of my amazingly beautiful miracle niece, Kaileigh, which was great… And then there was lots of chaos and going…  
IN OUR HOMESCHOOL THIS WEEK… 
I decided to go easy on myself and get over the self imposed guilt and pressure… and though still a big rough- there was definite improvement! 
We studied time management and I think keeping a time journal was a good way for Genny to see how incredibly long she takes on things. A typical day would have her moving through school at a defiant, turtle pace and then getting angry at me because she finishes so late and I give her too much. The journal motivated her to get through things well, with no “corrections” and she found she could be done by lunch, or soon there-after… 
I AM INSPIRED BY… 
I have some really lovely people in my life. I have a friend whose mother is fighting breast cancer and both mother and my friend have been incredible sources of inspiration for me. 
We found out, for certain, about our daughter Amanda’s ship out date for boot camp. Her eagerness and excitement inspires me, as well as scares me. With Lucas preparing to deploy this spring it is all a lot of overwhelming fear junk for my heart, but still, when I am honest with myself I realize that both of them just BLOW ME AWAY… 
They make me take notice of the present in a powerful way. 
PLACES WE’RE GOING, PEOPLE WE’RE SEEING… 
We have a field trip to the aquarium today, which we are looking forward to. We had went to a local coffee place for chai and no bakes while we read our literature book and wrote letters. It was amazing. We went swimming, Genny had two basketball practices and a game tomorrow. Looking forward to family date night tonight. Going to pizza and to see a movie. 
MY FAVORITE THING THIS WEEK WAS… 
It’s a tie…
1}On Tuesday night Genny’s basketball team had team photos. Since she’s part of a community sports league this meant that there were literally hundreds of kids, (of all ages) conglomerating in groups of their team t-shirts, awaiting their turn. It was a long, tedious evening. As Chw and I had nothing to do but sit at a table and send stupid text messages back and forth. We discussed philosophical things such as frozen yogurt and displayed our mad-skillz making many emoticon faces. At one point he says to me, “we’re so lame.” 
2} Roughly a half an hour later we are home, and he (wearing contacts) picks up the pair of eye glasses on his  nightstand and says “I really need to order new glasses. These are all scratched up, I mean-” He then puts them on his face to further point out their flaws when he jumps back AT LEAST a foot and shouts “WOAH! WHAT THE HECK?!?!?” I immediately start laughing. Wearing your contacts? His slight “oh, yeah.” reassured him nothing catastrophic had happened to his vision. 
Lucky for me, i’m a little less lame. :)
THINGS I AM WORKING ON…
A few freelance projects coming on. Looking for inspiration for my Smash Book, so I can get it started. Planning a couple of small parties… Nothing too major. 
I’M READING… 
Trying to read (still) Lost by Greggory Maguire. I don’t know if it’s that my last book was so real life/sad that this tale is losing me, or what the deal is really… Hopefully by next week it will be a DIFFERENT tale! 
SHE’S READING… 
Treasure Island. :) 
I’M COOKING… 
Macaroni and Cheese; Fish Tacos; Fresh Baked bread… Nurture, nurture, nurture… 
I’M GRATEFUL FOR…
So, so much. Healthy husband. Healthy kids. Heat and roof over my head. A passion for writing. A handful of amazing friends. My camera. 
I’M PRAYING FOR… 
My kids… Lucas is getting ready to come home on leave and Amanda is getting ready to leave for basic. Genny is really struggling and I feel like i don’t have it in me quite often… 
My sister’s health is a gigantic mess. I miss her so much, I feel in so many ways like I’ve lost one of my best friends. She just isn’t able to be there for me anymore and though I totally understand- i miss her something awful. 
A PHOTO, LINK, VIDEO OR QUOTE… 
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