Desperately seeking Dobby…

This Tuesday morning sunrise has me deep in contemplative thought…

As a 42-year-old woman, I have come to certain places within myself. There are things I must sometimes say, do or accept that I never could have mustered the capabilities of several years ago. There are also certain things which, twenty years ago seemed more attainable. Of the latter, I’m speaking of motivation and energy. (sidenote: also- Olive Garden. Twenty years ago this was though to be a fine dining establishment… It is things such as this which keep my grounded in gratitude for my forties and the realizations that come with such an age.)

My one and a half cups of coffee are gone now and I sit questioning if I should brew more or take my chances on energy and motivation coming from somewhere else. I mean, let’s be honest- coffee is delicious and does a great job at making the brain kick-start a morning, but it is not really the source of solid energy or motivation. At best, it’s an aid.

I’ve lost my motivation, and it seems all forms of energy have run away with it. Briefly I considered designing a telephone-pole-flyer seeking it’s return, but that sounded absolutely exhausting so I have instead decided to adapt to living without it. (obviously I’m kidding… I can’t live without it. Whoever took my motivation, I NEED it back! I know someone helped them leave, or abducted them. I don’t even care, I’ll look the other way and not pursue any legal action, I just want them safely home.)

Truthfully, I imagine it is a combination of moving, autumn, unusually warm weather for the season, moving and then when you factor in that I am 42 and just moved… My body and brain might be communicating a need for respite, (see: FORTY TWO)  Here’s the thing about respite though- I have deadlines. Respite simply cannot be scheduled until late spring or early next summer. My brain/body/nervous system will just have to put on their patience-pants and deal.

Tomorrow is the day when the Collective Podcast is back, with new episodes, and I am so excited! We’ve been working to connect our community of listeners with even more great women with journeys to share! This little growth-passion project has become something very special. I remember the early stages, where I desperately prayed for a companion to aid in the making of something, and now I have a network of amazing women who not only bravely share their stories, but passionately want to help and touch the lives of others! It’s humbling and beautiful. If you listen, thank you for that! There is no competition here, there is room for everyone. In this climate of womanhood, we have a real need for connection and The Collective has been a beautiful instrument of such!

When the essential oils, coffee, fresh-pressed-juices, walks on the beach and gentle stretching don’t do it- I’m wondering what you do to harness motivation? If you have brilliant (or even simple) tips, I’d love to hear them. As I mentioned, I have these little nagging deadlines (ok, not so little) and I welcome any/all help. Back to the topic of being my age, and coming into certain things about myself. One of the biggest ones has been knowing how to acknowledge what my needs are and then learning how to ask for them. That being said, in addition to needing any and all suggestions you may have, there is one other thing I desperately need…

I need a house elf. If you know how one can acquire such a gift, I’d love in. Is there perhaps a co-operative? A catalog service? Staffing agency? (I’m not talking about downplaying any forms of slavery, (I’m no Kanye) I will pay my own Dobby well. I happen to have a KNACK for finding great socks! Ask Elenor, she steals them all the time.)The truth is, I adore this little cottage we live in to such an extreme place deep within my soul, that I almost feel like I waited my entire adulthood to find this home. That being said, it is a cozy, little cottage. While it is super easy to clean, it also seems to get “dirty” quicker. (to clarify, I mean: lived in... It looks lived in. It also looks like we have a golden retriever, and to take it a step further, it looks like we have no house elf. I’m sure you get the picture.) While there are just the two of us (and Elenor, but she is naked most of the time) the laundry builds up more than before because our tiny little washing machine is sock sized. (as in, singular sock, not a pair) It is all so wonderfully maintainable, but is also beginning to feel like it might require more time to maintain. A house elf would fit in quite naturally and may agree to throw the ball for Elenor every now and again, while simultaneously keeping her out of the socks. Everyone wins.

(One last thing… central vacuuming for leaves. Where they are just instantly sucked into the earth. Is this a thing?)

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