Done and Doner…

Friday has come back around and you can once again find me joining the fiveminutefriday linkup, as well each share our creative endeavors centering around this week’s word prompt: DONE.

What’s done is done, until it isn’t…

Until that very thing with which your desperate, worn and weary heart sought completion in, becomes the one thing leaving you undone.

Being a list loving girl, I find value in the ink swiped checks, pen-scratching through things completed, tasks turned success. Such silly little, nonsensical things feel very much like a form of gravity to this deeply rooted OCD way in which I function. Predictability there, hand-in-hand, fingers laced tight with the illusion of control. Together they form some semblance of safety. Such things feel oxygen claiming, vitally crucial to everything I know.

The undone version of me, becoming more and more disheveled, does not quite fit in with this smoothly balanced world. Hot-pink-inked doodles and swirls amidst the tidy columns of chores and attention demanders- the chaos feels altogether unsafe and yet alarmingly beautiful…

This unraveling, from deep within the inner abyss and vibrating through these suddenly tumbling sun-kissed curls, inspires free-flowing movement to the music emerging unexpectedly. These things, together, are not entirely unwelcome, but the fear of the risk to embrace them holds my breath hostage.

Within this construct there are timers and alarms, schedules, routines with even smallest aspects balancing thoughtfully, both depending on another and supporting something else. Getting things done, this is my song, the anthem the inner me salutes, the rhythm which my heart beats to.

Except I guess it doesn’t, because it isn’t.

Do I dare to dance into the pink-inky chaos, where guarantees and certainties are not visible within the lines of black and white?

I guess it’s already done…

8 thoughts on “Done and Doner…

  1. Lovely post, Misty! I share your conflict at times between desiring order and control, but also longing for freedom from that. Hope you have a great Friday!

  2. Yes! So, here is the secret for those of us that are “rigid” and “controlled by lists and to dos”…there is freedom in organization, there is a rhythm and gorgeous dance and there is the freedom of having parts of our lives cleared from having to think so hard. There is beauty in a list, actual beauty.

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