chronic illness, confession, depression, fibro, gratitude, journey, marriage

one, two, three, one…

The mornings are cold, the dogs sneeze around bites of breakfast and I want to stress to them the importance of bundling up and cuddling but they just don’t get it. Emma, the older and grumpier of the pair, (and I say pair, but really, but they are never together and don’t like each other) would pose a threat to my life if I were to attempt a cuddle. Elenor, on the other hand, may be as shivery and sleepy as can be, and the second I attempt to snuggle she becomes a playful and ferocious beast, all teeth and wagging tail.

My husband is getting ready to say goodbye to today, as he is on the other side of the world and it is very nearly tomorrow, there. As he spends this time in the future, I find myself much more aware the time, time zones, timing. Time is a funny thing, at times it crawls, as I fear these next weeks will do. Other times it speeds by so fast, I am left dizzy and altered.

This morning I am pondering hurricane damage, flood and fire brokenness and how, though I may not love Michigan, I am very lucky to be here. So many people I love have experienced such fear and loss these weeks of calamity. The worst thing I’ve had to face, other than my husband’s departure to Australia, is a small cold and a 36 hour migraine. In the grand scheme of things, it’s a whole lot of nothing major.

Here in Michigan it did seem like Fall came out of nowhere. All of a sudden I needed to pull sweaters out of storage, and keep the kettle plugged in for cups of tea throughout the day. Don’t get me wrong, I am not at all complaining. Autumn is my favorite, but I am giving pause. With the arrival of Autumn, (after such a strange summer) i am forced to confront that winter is not far behind.

Over these next few weeks I am focussing on small things. Small goals, moving towards a healthier me, place and perspective. Today I am taking small steps towards those bullseye destinations… Β Everyone knows about that one quick way to shed a few pounds, or change-up a routine, or make you an instant morning person, and that is so great. What I’m looking for however are those small things which pave the way to the bigger picture lifestyle of healthy all around. For me, this morning, that looks like an early morning walk, a smoothie for breakfast, and RX bar for snack and a reconnection with my quiet time.

For the week I aim to take in a yoga class, practice tai chi, read a book and write a letter.

Small, attainable, intentional…

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