House of cake…

I live in a house and have been brought into a little family that is pretty amazing, minus the cat…

The wind blows, the sun rises and sets just as any other home. It isn’t perfect and it’s walls and shape remain hauntingly familiar… but it’s a home all the same. The bed can be warm, the conversation nurturing and well, the cat can be relied on for sneaky little cat-like things…

Outside of this house the world can be challenging and terrifying, dishonest and raw. The world can feel overwhelming and the people you love can be more so. Outside of this house is life, pulse beating and oxygen breathing life and it happens whether we venture out or stay wrapped in the sometimes warm bed to hide.

Today was hard, tears were had and gut-wrenching gave way to lessons. More lessons. Always, always learning. We kind of have to.

I’ve learned there are no guarantees; helping others does not mean they will line up when you have need; friendships are only ever a sum of the effort put into them, and even then they are nothing more than a word; marriage is far more emotional connection than legally binding document; adultery questions your worth though it is not an exact reflection of such; children hurt and their life-hurts are the worst of all evils, in this world; every single thing boils down to intention, effort and self discipline- only choosing the easy route leads to self-destruction…

Outside tonight the wind howls. Down the street my sweet friend is putting a baby to bed. ten miles away my sister worries as my niece is still missing. States away a seventeen year old goes to bed feeling disposable, unworthy and unloveable just as her momma always has. This is the worst of all realities, that and the fact that the one person who can fix it all doesn’t want to.

Here, inside this house that is also home, the wind echoes and the chill kisses my spine. The cat stalks, communicating his ownership. The one guarantee outside is that there is evil and greatness and it is up to me to choose which way to see- which way to live…

The one guarantee inside? There will always be cake…