How do you care?

I am the absolute worst at a lot of things. My husband loves to joke that I’m super anal about the placement of specific things in the house, and I am. I’ll own up to it… I’m also the worst about starting a task/project and getting distracted, never to return to it. I’m the worst about talking on the phone, I hate it.

I am the absolute worst about a lot of things…

The top of the list, I’m learning, is self-care. Don’t get me wrong, this is not to be confused with taking care of myself. I eat healthy, drink tons of water, shower, etc. I’m talking self-care. You know, the advice we give a friend whose struggling and might need to decompress or heal. Yeah, that. From a very early (EARLY) age I was taught to take care of others, (that was my sole life’s purpose) and internally I learned that anything which didn’t fall into that category was selfish. As I went after my counseling degree I learned the vitality of self-care and encouraging clients to self-care, when I went into the field, but never practiced such things myself. Are you kidding? I couldn’t take such bold steps in selfishness…

Just in case you haven’t been reading here long, our family had a really rough 2011/2012 and by the end of it I found myself pretty deep in situational depression. I was just exhausted and beaten down. Come to find out, I had pretty much zero beneficial coping skills or an iota of how to take care of myself. On the same token, I had never really had anyone “take care” of me, because that was my job– to care for everyone else… pretty much I was all about the job security! *wink*

So yeah, things are a lot better now, but it’s a journey…

I was recently given a list of 218 Ways to Practice Self Care...

Technically speaking, I have a few issues with the list itself. Like, how “write a letter to someone”, “send a note to someone” and “write a letter” are all probably one item on the list and not three, but I digress. {or how “star gaze” and “Watch the stars” are probably just one item…}

Technicalities aside, there were a few things on the list that surprised me.

Rearrange a Room. Really?!?!?!? Well, I am the QUEEN of this one. I get a need that flares up and go crazy until a great portion of the house is different. So maybe I coped that way sometimes. I can tell you Chw pretty much didn’t see it as a healthy habit. Ha!

Surprise a child with a gift. Ok. I get it, but kind of don’t. While I see how this could make you feel good, I don’t know that it’s really “self-care”.

Study the issues/candidates/vote. Again, I don’t know. While several things on the list feel like they are reaching, this one really does. Is this important? Heck Yes! But if you are healing from abuse or trauma, this will not help your healing, or at least I don’t see how it will…

So, I really was inspired by some of these things on the list. I decided with school starting, this would be a good transition time to try to put some of them into practice. I thought I’d make a list and you guys can keep me accountable for how I’m doing… And by all means, if you have any self-care wisdoms/tips/etc- I’m all ears!

– Listen to more relaxing music.

– Relax more, outside.

– Read poetry out loud

– Breathe from my diaphragm

– stretch/yoga

– Do some worthwhile volunteer work

– Go to bed early

– Buy myself flowers

– Eat Breakfast in Bed

– Try a new word

– Enjoy nature

– Visit an art gallery

– Go on a picnic

– Do something to make the world a better place.

– Practice relaxation techniques

– Enter a Contest

– Have a tv less night a week.