On missing someone…

I have this really cool, fabric covered, storage box that I love. 
I bought it a long time ago (paid way too much!) because I loved it and knew it would hold something special. 
Then, my son went to basic, and I sorted through my boxes of cards/letters and put everything my kids had ever given me into this lovely box. 
Well, time has passed. There have been birthdays and mother’s days. Plus, as you can surely imagine, having a son deployed and a daughter away for AIT, paper letters are arriving in full force. Just last week Genny pointed out that it’s hinged lid would no longer close. 
So, begrudgingly I sat three separate storage boxes on the floor in front of me and proceeded to go through a decade + of notes, photos, coloring pages, small art projects and letters from all over the globe. 
One box for Genny, one box for Lucas, one box for Amanda. 
It really made me miss my kids. 
Granted, even though she is currently in Texas, Amanda’s stuff (and therefore her presence) is still all over the house. I could take a nap on her bed, I could go sit in her car. And again, she’s in Texas. I can text her. I can call her. 
But Lucas, not so much. 
And so I sorted and read, remembered and cried. My heart melted to slush and then put itself back together again. 
And then I thought, in an effort to work through the mom-missing moments, I would share a few Lucas facts with you… 
– The boy LOVES Fruity Pebbles. Know HOW he loves them? you poor a ton into a gigantic bowl, then fill it with milk and walk away. FOR LITERAL MINUTES, the easily soggy cereal mixes with the milk. I sit here gagging even writing it out. But he loves it. 
– Not hungry for breakfast you ask? How about he makes you a burrito for lunch? to do this he would cook up a package of Shrimp Ramen noodles. When they’re done he’ll scramble and egg. Then, mix them together, wrap in a tortilla and “ta da”. (GROSS) 
– His favorite pizza topping is Shrimp. He could be Bubba Gump. 
– He cried in The Vow. (it’s true.) In fact, his dates to see it (on Valentines weekend) was my friend K and I. How sweet is that? (and we went to dinner first, where there was no shrimp.) 
– He likes to play Monopoly. A lot. On the wii. On a game board. It doesn’t matter. Already finished a 12 hour game of it? Doesn’t matter. He loves it. 
– He gets scared in scary movies… (But watches them anyway) 
– he kept a GREAT circle journal with me for about 3 years, until his dog ate it. He still has it though, (what was left)
– he is my FAVORITE person to cook with, especially big holiday meals. (we do not cook burritos.) He’s actually an amazing cook. 
– He is the best older brother, ever. He will take Genny shopping for girly things (which he pays for), he will play girly video games (like hannah montana) with her, he will wrestle and beat her up and then is all to happy to just cuddle her a moment later. He never loses patience with her. Ever. (also… he has been known to try on Amanda’s clothes, though I have no proof of this.) 
I will stop, for now, before I get even more sad. Just needed to share him for a bit. 
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7 thoughts on “On missing someone…

  1. Kel, it does that too… mostly everything feels really full and beautiful, scared to death and therefore more than slightly complicated…

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