letter

set a drift…

I miss you… 
The resurfacing of you brought a lot of relief and love to the forefront. The tragic loss of a friendship lost because damaged people, (and we both fit the bill there) have a really difficult time in healthy relationships. 
You were my BEST friend. 
The only person with whom I could lay a secret, fear or dream to rest and know that it was safe. 
When damaged personas (ours) reared their ugly heads and an ocean of garbage was suddenly between us, I broke in half. Half of me drifted off, elsewhere. 
As melodramatically as I can muster- it killed the me I could have been.
Would have been.
Should have been. 
When suddenly, a lifetime later and you were back in my life- i felt whole again. 
It was just a moment, reunited, but in that moment I learned a lot. 
As crappy as everything since then has been, i would do it again and again and again if I was able to know that you were ok. 
And happy… 
In an alternate world somewhere, our kids are friends and our families are close. like sitcom families always seem to be… In this world, we had our moments and i am grateful for them. 

I miss you. 
But we can not go back… 
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