a twenty year old lie…

I am not sure if this letter, which none of you will ever see, is intended for you, your sister or your mother… 
I am stupid. I was stupid. 
I don’t know what happened. honestly I don’t. 
Words were said, images were painted and circumstances were manipulated. I can say, wholeheartedly that I have no responsibility in that part of it. 
I do bear all of the responsibility in the original lie though. 
The very beginning of a snowball I couldn’t have predicted and wouldn’t have believed if some divine being had attempted to warn me. 
No matter what though, I’m sorry. 
I have been achingly, painfully sorry since that day. 
I am so sorry. 
I am so sorry for the pain your family endured. For your dad. 
I wish you could forgive me… I’ve never forgiven me… 
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