Or at least trying.
I find that it isn’t that I am ungrateful by nature as much as I am easily distracted.
And that I have a love/hate relationship with my hair. Well, wait… Let me rephrase that. I had a love/hate relationship with my hair.
I am blessed with naturally curly hair that i love to have straightened. There are curly days, when I’m grateful for my hair, but most of the time I love it when my hair is straightened. When the Brazilian Blowout made itself pretty popular here, it soared to the very top of my Christmas wishlist. However, when I heard about all of the negative effects, possibilities and stuff- I decided against it. While I was getting my roots touched up, I was told that a great alternative would be a compression perm. At the word perm, I shuddered but was immediately assured that it would be that kind of perm. Word in the shop had been that the procedure would unify my curls, make them a bit bigger/bouncier and my hair all around easier to manage.
I made the appointment for after we got back and went in completely excited. I slid around on icy roads to make it on time, the day of the appointment. Visions of body filler curls and glorious hair filled my imagined Christmas season.
That’s the end of the pretty part.
The entire procedure was nightmarish. I’ve never felt so much induced head pressure. To say that it through me into a massive migraine would be an understatement. That aside, however, I still found myself optimistic that- though I would NEVER go through it again- it would still be ok.
I have the dryest, most fried afro. My hair is coarse and kinky. It’s awful. HORRIBLE.
And then I was reminded that, had I only been grateful to begin with.
Because now? Now I miss my hair. I’ve cried so much, and I feel so shallow crying over my hair.
So yeah… Gratitude. Maybe a large portion of it is perspective based, but my goal is to try and be more there…
Oh yeah, and if anyone ever tells you that it is not that kind of ______, run- because it’s probably worse…