My life, these past few years, has been quite the journey. The most humbling thing, at forty years of age, is having to accept that I do not have it all figured out, and that’s ok. I have learned a lot of really great things and sometimes those things are meant for a season, while other times those things last awhile longer. Over the past year alone, there are two messages predominately running through the veins of my lifeblood.
The first is that I am worthy of love and I do not need anyone to reassure me or validate me of this. Plain and simple, people suck. This is an eternal truth that is never-changing. Fact: Sometimes we too are among those who suck. It is a fatal flaw to humanity. Often times we microscopically zoom in on the wounds we’ve received at the hands of someone else, while choosing to overlook the wounds which we ourselves have caused to others. We are each, worthy of love. I am. I do not need my husband, my kids, my mother or anyone else to be the messenger for this truth. It took me a long, long time to get this. Sometimes I still have to remind myself.
The second is that life is meant for living. This does not play into the ridiculous “YOLO” idea as much as it challenges us to make the most of the moments. Sure, it’s ok to bingewatch that netflix show or get lost in that video game, (for me: Harvest Moon. Always.) It is not ok for that to be the center of life. Life has a heartbeat. Life has a blood flow. It’s ours and it is real and every day is a chance for our own adventure. We have to connect with the people in our lives, and with ourselves. We have to do this authentically, even when it is uncomfortable or terrifying. The lazy times are nice when they are the bit of flavor to our down time.
My best friend K came out from Boise, this past week. It was incredible. We simply had a small list of things to do, which included a few shops to explore, a trip to Ikea, a movie to see (Girl on the Train), a brunch place to visit, etc. We could have checked items off a list and crammed as much as possible into her time here. I think maybe a year or so ago, that is exactly what I would have done. This time around though, we just kind of went with it. The two best times were one hundred percent spontaneous. They were absent of the pretense of lists and obligation, when we simply were who we were and submitted to the adventure that organically came from it. What this looked like, for us, became the best Target trip EVER and an impromptu adventure through Detroit. Life is good, always. Even when you’re sad, or broke, or lonely. We just have to be honest with ourselves and where we are at in the journey and let that sense of adventure organically happen. Even in the deepest pits of grief, there can be moments of that certain something which reminds us we are alive… Grab hold of that, whatever your stage and wherever you are, and let’s go!
The one thing I failed to do, while she was here, was snap a million photos. In fact, outside of our Target adventure, I don’t think I took even one. We also forgot to hit up the photo booth, which I do honestly regret a tad. I have real life memories etched in my heart, and so while not having the photos is a little sad, it’s pretty ok too. I think sometimes we get so busy taking pictures to share, we miss living the moment. Social Media has contributed to that inauthentic beast of a problem. Even so, as I head off on my next adventure, I will have my Canon in hand constantly. I am leaving tomorrow for a week in New England, and as this is definitely a check off the bucket list, I know it will be incredible. It will be what I make it, which is pretty universal to all of us.
Have you been to New England in Autumn? Any tips or suggestions for my 8 day adventure?
Rainy Day in May... 