the Grace Apple Award…

Last week we received an invitation to an awards ceremony at our daughter’s high school. The invitation clearly stated that the only students family’s who received the invitation would be students being honored with an award. When I shared this with Gen, she argued emphatically that she was NOT getting an award, and that it was a mistake.

Eventually she took it upon herself to ask. {We did not doubt, nor were we going to be the parents to email and ask “are you sure our kid is getting an award?”) Sure enough, they confirmed she was getting an award. This next phase of her self-doubt was to assume they’d created a special award just for her, just so she wouldn’t be the only kid there without one. Eventually I was able to explain to her that, if that were the case, the whole school would be involved, not a (very) small portion of the students.

Last night was the awards ceremony. She wore a dress, (we did not make her, she did this of her own accord, though blamed me later. *sigh*) and was a bundle of nerves. Our girl does NOT like not knowing something and it was making her feel very anxious.

Her award was for honor roll, which surprised her, though not us.

As she sat there, watching multiple kids get multiple awards for character, being a good/responsible student, etc. She grew more and more fidgety and agitated. I was glad it was a short ceremony, the whole thing was sort of like a kick in the teeth to her*, and she was emotionally at the end of her rope.

The thing is, she has made some really bad choices this school year. (mostly this semester) She’s a bright girl and did know better but she chose peer acceptance over school and in a few short weeks those friends will be long gone from her life and she will have absolutely nothing to show for it. These are things she will have to learn for herself, though God knows we’ve said them to her. That is where * comes in… She needed that “kick in the teeth”. She needed a real life kick back that showed her what she desperately wanted, and could have had. Should she be proud of honor roll? ABSOLUTELY, and we took her out for dessert to celebrate… But a small portion of her the first of many moments we all go through, last night. You know, the ones where we realize we should’ve planted the orchard 10 years ago, but didn’t and have nothing to show for it.

I’m just hoping she ALSO learns that it’s never to late to start sowing those seeds now.

And I’m also reminding myself that I still don’t always get this, so I can’t expect her to, at 15.