that which shapes us…

She has been in school for months now. I say months because it has definitely been more than one. Truthfully, it feels as though she has been in school forever. Mostly though, this has nothing to with her and everything to do with me as I came down with this hellish illness shortly after the school term started… 

Anyhow… 

What I’m here to talk about is love. Young love. 

About two weeks after Gen started this new school, a wickedly cruel fellow seventh grad boy decided to target her in his acts of meanness. It started by calling her a fly and shooing at her. After some time things evolved and he began gagging himself whenever she was near. He’d look at her (in their many classes together) and simulate vomiting saying it’s her ugliness that makes him sick. His tormenting became more persistent. He discussed her hair legs and how they were like that of an ape. Ape legs, ape legs… He remarked on the space between her teeth. 50 foot gap, he said. 50 foot Genny… 

And on and on it went. 

Daily she met me at the car in sobbing tears… Stupid, cruel boy. 

Conferences occurred. I was frustrated. At one point he was continuing his abuses in her last period of the day. She was crying, asking him to stop. The teacher did not intervene, but rather ignore. Finally Genny turned around to this S.C. boy and “SHUT UP!” 

The teacher did NOT ignore this. He gave her detention. When she tearfully tried to explain about S.C. boy, giving the teacher complete benefit of the doubt that he hadn’t heard- he yelled at her. It was at this point that a friend stepped in and intervened on her behalf- and the friend also got detention. 

It was at this point in which i was done. 

Things got better quickly. His forced apology seemed to help him be nicer. For two weeks he has been civilly nice to my daughter. The principal had told Genny that perhaps he did these things because he liked her. On Friday, these 2 weeks later, when he approached her and asked her to the Halloween dance- this was confirmed. 

Factually I should point out she is more than likely not attending said dance. Not for any reason other than the fact that she has adopted the behavior of very poor judgement. Regardless of who is present, when she feels like making a poor or unwise decision, she does. She cares nothing for the consequences. We have grown incredibly weary of such things, so she’s on a bit of a restricted regimen. Of course this is actually because we are wickedly evil parents and she leads a horribly sad and oppressed life… (you know, what with her cable tv, ipod touch, cool art school upbringing and all. Poor thing. have I mentioned she eats two breakfasts on week days? Who can live under such poor conditions?) 

The point though, is that she wants to say “yes.” Yes that she’d go with him, if she was going. Which she is not. Yes. 

I am still appalled. I get the whole middleschool boy- picks on girl which he’s crushing- way of life. This though, this went beyond picking. He was absolutely heinously bad to her and he hurt her feelings immensely, for a long time. And the thing is, she has a boy she really likes and this boy is not him. I just feel like, looking ahead 5 years, the girl on this path is the one with the no self respect and completely crappy abusive boys. I know it’s an over reaction but am I at all justified in worrying when she decides to like a boy who likes her- even if he’s been what I deem incredibly abusive? 

These middle school dramas have become the soap opera in which our lives turn. The valley girl/mean girl who is out to get Gen. The friends and their romantic relationships. The girl drama, and gosh there is loads of it… 

I have got to get well and have a date with another adult SOON…