confession, entertainment, parenting

laryngitis…

My little one, {who isn’t so little anymore, at 12} God bless her, is quite the character! 
Let me see how I can visually set this up for you… 
Let’s say, hypothetically, you find your pack of missing gum hidden in her snow boot. K? And you ask her why she has it… Well, she’ll cock her head a few degrees to the left, raise and eye brow and say: 
“remember when you said I could have that? RE-MEMMM-BER?” As she speaks, defining every syllable clearly, dragging some out fifty times longer than necessary, you can hear the oodles of effort she’s cramming into trying to manipulate the situation. 
Without any will at all, if you can imagine it, I’ll deadpan “No, I don’t,” in reply. 
I’m cool and collected… 
Except for when I’m not, which isn’t what this post is about, so anyway… 
It’s funny, right? 
Except for when it’s about 40 times a day. 
“Genny, why do you have a cookie in your mouth?” 
“I don’t. I didn’t eat a cookie. I did not take a cooookkkiiieeee.” her words, hypnotic, likely achieving great success if it wasn’t for the little hiccup of them being spoken around the cookie still in her mouth
Oye… 
So, Chw and I have been slowly watching the HBO mini-series of Mildred Pierce with Kate Winslet. Did you watch it? {Disclaimer: having viewed it is completely irrelevant to this post.} The daughter, in the movie, does that to her mom. A lot. It’s infuriating actually… I kind of spent the majority of all 5 hours of it, wanting to shove my hands through the tv screen and wring the daughter’s neck. She was evil. EVIL, i tell you!
But, here’s the thing. In the movie, the mother GIVES IN! If she were in my situation, Mildred Pierce would have said something like, “oh, you didn’t take the cookie? I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” And we, the smarter-than-that audience sit there dumbfounded.
Guess what though? That daughter becomes a total psychopath. (sorry if you haven’t seen it but are dying to. yep. She’s nuts. But no offence, if you see the first half hour and didn’t come to that conclusion, you should be ashamed of yourself.) and well, we don’t fall for Gen’s weird hypnosis attempts so I’m pretty sure this is the universe’ss way of telling me that she’s NOT going to be a psychopath! 
Yay! 
I mean, in hindsight after finishing said mini-series, when your daughter continues her ploy of hypnosis genius, is that not also the same conclusion you would come to? (did I mention I’ve got about 3 hours sleep going on, too?) 
All I’m saying is, if your kid too, tries to hypnotize you into believing ridiculous things- be brave. Stand strong. Keep your eye on the partially chewed cookie and your anchor in reality. Some day, when your child isn’t a psychopath, they’ll thank you… 
i hope. 
in the meantime, I’m naming this our anthem! (A.. Cuz it totally fits and B… Cuz it’s such a great song!)
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4 thoughts on “laryngitis…”

  1. Keep standing your ground! I think we all thank our mothers who didn't let us get away with being as clever as we thought we were. :D

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