Category: Misc.

reclaiming: one

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

I don’t think I’ve ever been so aware as to track the journey of my Word of the Year on a monthly basis… This time though, with some of the things I am hoping my journey will take me through, it made sense.

Way back in the blogging days, when I did this a lot more regularly, I would do a monthly goal post at the start of the month, and a wrap-up “what I learned” post at the end. This kind of feels a little bit like that, though maybe with a splash of vulnerability and rawness. Who knows.

It’s here now, recorded…

How did I love my inner child?

I changed my apple watch face to be the Care Bears. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVED the Care Bears, Rainbow Brite, My Little Pony, and Strawberry Shortcake when I was a kid. (A bit later came Jem!) I bought a My Little Pony t-shirt that little me would have loved. It’s made of that cozy soft cotton and I wore it on the days when I knew I needed that extra comfort. On the colder days, I wore my Prince hoodie. It’s safe to say I’ve felt more connected to little me this month than I ever remember feeling. (over the weekend I also stumbled upon a classic Strawberry Shortcake coloring book and bought that too! My little inner girl is geeking out!)

Reclaim Creativity?

This one is tricky… I had the best of intentions to tackle a new painting project and pick up on my embroidery, which has been sorely neglected. My nerve pain has really struggled this winter and, in the end, I never made it to do either of those in January.

Reclaim me as a writer?

I submitted myself for a couple of opportunities. I’m learning to believe in myself, which is the hardest thing. I also officially committed to a new project, and am throwing my hat in the ring for a couple of freelance submissions. I doubled my writing time this month and that has felt cathartic and wonderful!

As a reader?

I joined the Backlist23 book challenge to read 23 books from my massive TBR pile this year, and it’s going well. In January I knocked 2 of those out, plus a bonus one that I hadn’t mentioned in my 23 list. It’s been so nice to cozy up and read, and that it’s been an opportunity to connect with a community of other readers doing the same thing made it equally as nice!

Reclaim my time?

Time management has never been my strong suit. Last fall I took an honest assessment of how I misspend my time and put plans in place to help, along with lots and lots of grace… My days saw some improvements during January. Little things that wouldn’t look like much to someone else, but it’s a start for me.

Self-care/Nurturing?

See the former sentiment about grace and add to it generic toaster pasties on the flare/crash days, a thousand (possible exaggeration) cups of hot tea, resting in ways that still stimulate my brain, cathartically crying when I need to, audio books when my vision goes a bit whack, and quite a bit of journaling and self check-ins.

Rest?

Sleeping whenever I could, even if this looked like naps during the day. I am slowly learning to pay attention to my signs and warnings…

Health?

My focus this month, for health at least, really centered around the awareness and rest. It’s baby steps, intentionally moving bit by bit, and this is where it was out. In an attempt to reclaim my health, I have to approach it thoughtfully and slowly.

Spiritual Journey?

It is in the gentleness, the grace, and the intention where I believe I keyed in here the most. January held some really beautiful conversations around how my faith has grown and adapted. It also held some odd conversations with a few “well-meaning” people expecting me to answer to them. It’s a journey…

What inspirations or passions did the month hold?

I gained so much inspiration from the series Station Eleven on HBO and can’t wait to read the book!

I am also continually inspired by the writers in my Carpe Diem group! Who knew so much inspiration and brilliance could be in one place?

How am I feeling about the month?

Overall, pretty good. Were adaptations small and gentle? They were. They will likely continue to be. Having a chronic illness is no joke, but this is my one life and I want to not only live it, but live it well. I want to reclaim my life, my health, my everything. January feels like step one and that’s perfect! I’ll take it!

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Dog Gone…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

If you know me at all then you know two things are true:

I LOVE DOGS!

and I adore Rob Lowe, who also adores dogs!

I was lucky enough to get to screen the new Netflix film Dog Gone, starring Rob Lowe, Johnny Berchtold, and Kimberly Williams-Paisley, which releases tomorrow (Friday the 13th). Let me tell you, this movie is so good! Based on the book (and the Goodest boy Gonker) “Dog Gone: A Lost Pet’s Extraordinary Journey and the Family Who Brought Him Home” by Pauls Toutonghi, Dog Gone is the powerful story of family, unconditional love, and the amazing space our pets can hold in our lives.

Absolutely beautiful–a perfect movie to snuggle up for, this weekend!

After a young man and his beloved dog are separated on the Appalachian Trail, he and his father must begin a desperate search to find him before it’s too late. Based on an incredible true story of humanity and everyday heroism.

Release Date: On Netflix Friday, January 13, 2023

DIRECTOR: Stephen Herek

WRITTEN BY: Nick Santora 

PRODUCED BY: Nick Santora and Jeremy Kipp Walker

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: Rob Lowe

CAST: Rob Lowe, Johnny Berchtold, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Nick Peine

There’s something about Amy {a memoir Behind the Scenes}

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

Early on in my memoir Girls, Assassins & Other Bad Ideas, there is an essay entitled The Anthill. At the very start of the chapter, a teenage girl named Amy comes to my rescue. This is “Amy” pictured here, with one-year-old me! 

Her name isn’t actually Amy.

She and her mother both were actually pretty large parts of my early childhood days. Amy’s mom and my mom were good friends, which I guess is how Amy came to spend so much time with us. There were times she would sleep over, in my room with me. Sometimes she’d babysit me, and sometimes I’d spend chunks of time at her house. They had this Gatlin Brothers record and I would ask to hear the song Broken Lady again and again and again.

This song made an appearance on the playlist of GAAOBI, though I’ll let you in on a little secret: it’s the only song I really skip when I play the list. It’s painfully hard for me to listen to. I knew very early on that I had to put this track into the book. I still love the song and find its lyrics pretty profound when it comes to the actual story I brought to life. Even so, it stirs some pretty hard and uncomfortable things within me when I hear it… 

Amy and I are still connected. She actually only lives a few hours from me, which is a miracle since we are both from small-town New Mexico! She is now a very proud grandmother. She was a badass single mom to two kids, a boy and a girl. She’s been a huge supporter of the book and such a validator because she knew my mom. 

I’ve been sharing behind-the-scenes stories, omitted essays, and other little secrets over in my Patreon group, but wanted to use this space to share one of them here, today!

xo,

M

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Best of…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

2022 was a pretty hard year collectively, for so many of us. In my newsletter this week I have a collection of lists mentioning my favorite books, movies, and tv series of the year! It was a fun thing to keep intentional track of, a practice I plan to do again this year! In addition to those things though is a list of the best things I discovered this year… They aren’t exclusive to 2022 for anyone else but me (mostly), and I’m so happy to share them with you.

Drumroll?

My 2022 Best of {Life stuff edition}:

Looking forward to the magic, wonder, and discoveries that await all of us in 2023!

unforgetting…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

Last week was one of those weeks… you know the kind. The ones where your schedule is lined out perfectly, and if it weren’t for the very worst week of awfulness the week before, you’d be in great shape–but then… THEN it turns out you’ve rescued a very high-needs kitten, have a new puppy who keeps needing medical attention, and suddenly your great-shape week becomes a string of sleepless nights and cancelations…

Thank God for a new week.

And so far, for Monday, it’s been pretty ok over here. I slept great, managed to tackle a few small areas in my crazy-neglected house, and knocked some stuff off the list. I was feeling pretty accomplished and proud of my productivity and time management when the mail showed up. I was already taking Elenor for a quick walk so I grabbed it on our way into the house before the chilly sprinkles turned into full rain.

We all get the same mail these days… Bills, junk, ads, more bills, and “special offers” that really aren’t that special at all. Mixed in the middle of all of that nonsense was a card addressed to me from a return address I didn’t know. Curiously I opened it to find a beautiful card with a note from my mom’s hospice provider. Suddenly I was right there again, this time last year, sitting vigil at her bedside waiting. Always very soon the nurses said, but waiting for death can truly take forever.

It’s weird to sit here, nearly a year later, and realize this oddly-orphaned feeling will celebrate its first major milestone next week. If you’ve read my book, it may not even make much sense to you that I just then felt like an orphan after the journey I’ve had. Life is funny like that… It’s like my mother’s lack of mothering gifted me neglect and abandonment issues, but it wasn’t until her Alzheimer’s progression that I really felt the true, unreachable depth of that. Once she took her last shallow breath it sealed the deal. Things that, to the mind, shouldn’t feel one way often surprise us.

Over these past six years I can recall these stepping-stone moments that altered me to my core. Each one reminded me that I would, from that point on, never be the same again. Sometimes this was a very good thing, while other times it was simply the way life works sometimes.

In the card from my mom’s former hospice provider was a seed packet for Forget-Me-Nots. Perfection. I’ll tuck them away in my potting bench, for when it is time to sow them. I’ll be tucking the card away too. It may have caught me off guard, but I don’t need it to remind me she’s gone, and therefore a part of me left too.

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