hello…

My last post was July 2nd, and I talked about things I’d learned in June.

I could fill a novel with what I’ve learned since then, honestly…

For instance, in the months, days and thousands upon thousands of hours since July 2nd I’ve learned that I know pretty much nothing about anything I thought I knew a lot about. I’ve come to realizations that I’m a broken individual who has been such for so long that I’m probably more handicapped than capable of relearning.

I’ve learned that where I once compulsively kept my house clean and tidy, with things in their places- it’s been almost equally as long since my house has been that way and I care very little. (anyone who truly knows me is shocked at this revelation alone.)

I’ve learned more about what love is, what love isn’t, what friendship is, what friendship is not and again how completely far I was from the mark.

My perception that things all workout in the end is shifted significantly, my faith is altered if not partially shattered…

And the worst part about the things I’ve “learned” I guess, would be the fears soul deep insecurities I kept even hidden from myself, which have risen to the surface and become daily realities.

Basically, it’s been one hell of a few months. Summer bled into fall in a completely natural way which left me wondering if either had existed independently at all. All I really know, amidst all of the realizations and conclusions is that I am not the girl I was on July 2nd, and I’m especially not the girl I was 2 years ago. Life is a journey and I guess we take them, whether we really want to or not. This one, I’m ready for…

Although a little less painful would be nice.