It’s a unique type of sadness, saying goodbye to pieces of one’s home. Admiring the kitchen you sacrificed so much to make beautiful and realizing mere months later you’re bidding it farewell along with your family.
Suddenly the inanimate objects become friends you’ll miss a great deal…
Goodbye throw pillow, you’ve been a great comfort and I’ll always find you beautiful.
Goodbye table. You’ve held my family’s meals, laughter and moments for such a lifetime of love. There is no gratitude big enough to give you. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry, back deck, because I know no one else will appreciate the asset you are,¬†or the solace you bring. The stars look best from your embrace.
I’m sorry rug, and floor and family photos and moments and memories that hold my life… The good and the bad rest in the palms of your hearth and I’m sorry I’ve failed you.
That I couldn’t be the lady of the house you needed, to keep you beautiful and inviting.
I’m sorry dogs. My heart breaks at your sweet-faced devotion and blind love filled trust. There are days, sweet puppy of mine, when I believe you love me more than any human ever has.
Today I know this is so, and here I go, without you.
I’m sorry life which I worked so tirelessly to construct, which I just cannot keep up with any longer. I’m tired and scared and ready to try something new.
Or something.
Goodbye grey sky and snow lined streets, streets in a land I’ve never cared for and the life there which I’ve never really been a part of. Hold my family close and love them. Embrace them and comfort them with your fireplace embers, evening television glow and the puppies I left behind. They deserve better than I can give here, or than I’m taking away.
Goodbye Michigan life.

The 33… {a giveaway}


Have you seen a trailer for the movie The 33?

I remember sitting by watching, tense and prayerful, as this story unfolded all over the media. It was the first time, within my lifetime, that I realized what power people had to get things noticed and make things happen. Throughout the whole of my life I’ve collected stories that are true mysteries and real-life miracles. This one is the latter for sure.

It looks extraordinary. The sort of extraordinary that sends chills up and down my spine and reminds of how great people can be when we pull together…



33-DK-03821I can’t encourage you enough to go see this film. We need to do more things that spotlight amazing stories.

With The 33 opening tomorrow, I thought I’d do a little giveaway. I have a t-shirt and a mini-flashlight for the lucky winner. I’ll also throw in a little something special too. :)

To enter, leave a comment about the trailer, film or actual story.

For a second entry, tweet the giveaway and leave a SECOND comment pasting the hyperlink.

Be still & know…


On Fridays I meditate…

I’m trying to center the chaos of my mind by finding times to do this on other days of the week as well, but for now I’ll be honest and say I only manage Fridays, and even that I’m not super successful at.

A counselor I had, a couple of years ago, recommended that I take on the daily practice of guided meditation. My mind was against the idea and so my inner cynic found her guidance redundant and distracting. Instead I would tune her out and meditate on things like my grocery list, my meal plan and what load of laundry needed to dry vs. hang…

While I certainly have not changed in the last two years, I am a different person in many ways and so when a friend invited me to a meditation meeting, I figured I’d give it a chance. About a month, or so, into it- I’ve mastered the art of quieting my mind and sitting on the shore for about ten of the twenty-minute time allotment. After the (what I estimate is) halfway point, all of the self resentments, doubts and fears that I navigate through daily, finally break through and I can’t quite get back to my seashore. Even with that, I find myself overcome with gratitude for those moments when I was there, feet sinking in sunkissed sand, warm and comforting. There at my beach I talk to God, I surrender pieces of myself, particle by particle, and accept the honest truths that remain.

Last week was an emotionally difficult one, but I made it through the hard parts fairly unscathed. A half a dozen times I felt myself grasping for air and wishing someone would step over, take my hand and pull me from the chaos I couldn’t actually drown in. It’s amazing what another person can do. There is such a peace, and such a terrifying truth of power in that reality.

Life is relational. Whether that relationship, in any particular moment, is with God or other people with varying degrees of real estate in our life- it’s relational. When you cut out the relationship, or worse- when they do, you are left gaping and that never ends well.

These are the things I’m sorting out when I walk the beach on Fridays. These are the things that creep into my quiet moments when I’m outside in the crisp, cool air taking in the star scattered sky or driving in to school as the cotton candy sunrise bursts into the sky. My quiet moments are slowly becoming decipherable, and if this is something that being still can do for me then I’m grateful.


SunsetMy last post was July 2nd, and I talked about things I’d learned in June.

I could fill a novel with what I’ve learned since then, honestly…

For instance, in the months, days and thousands upon thousands of hours since July 2nd I’ve learned that I know pretty much nothing about anything I thought I knew a lot about. I’ve come to realizations that I’m a broken individual who has been such for so long that I’m probably more handicapped than capable of relearning.

I’ve learned that where I once compulsively kept my house clean and tidy, with things in their places- it’s been almost equally as long since my house has been that way and I care very little. (anyone who truly knows me is shocked at this revelation alone.)

I’ve learned more about what love is, what love isn’t, what friendship is, what friendship is not and again how completely far I was from the mark.

My perception that things all workout in the end is shifted significantly, my faith is altered if not partially shattered…

And the worst part about the things I’ve “learned” I guess, would be the fears soul deep insecurities I kept even hidden from myself, which have risen to the surface and become daily realities.

Basically, it’s been one hell of a few months. Summer bled into fall in a completely natural way which left me wondering if either had existed independently at all. All I really know, amidst all of the realizations and conclusions is that I am not the girl I was on July 2nd, and I’m especially not the girl I was 2 years ago. Life is a journey and I guess we take them, whether we really want to or not. This one, I’m ready for…

Although a little less painful would be nice.

What I learned in June…

bXoAlw8gT66vBo1wcFoO_IMG_91811.) My eyesight has gotten so much worse, and by worse I mean that I now need Progressive lenses. Boo. I couldn’t figure out why I was A.) spending less time reading/writing online and B.) reading (books) hardly at all. Turns out it was incredibly hard on my eyes.

2.) Getting old is EXPENSIVE. (and by old, of course I mean 39.) Progressive Lenses are insanely expensive. My eye doctor quoted $700, and then I finally learned Costco would do glasses and new sunglasses for $250 after insurance. I remember back when I wore regular glasses, and those were so affordable in comparison.

3.) Toxic people really do lash out and try to pull you into their toxic disrupt. With this lesson, which I’d realized, (but before June, it had only been evident in people I was close with, which provided different elements) comes their inability to see reality beyond their damaged, self-tinted perspective. Immediate boundaries are vital and key.

4.) Painting a front door is a miracle worker. Sure, I knew painting anything could be, but the front door thing is new to me. I’m sold…

5.) Apparently, when I’m under a lot of stress and I need a vacation, I mentally check out with Netflix. After the recommendation of a series earlier this month, by several friends, Last week my awesome friend Megan over at An Unruly Life turned me on to Korean Dramas. Over the span of a few days Gen and I were immersed in a show called Fated to Love You, and it’s been all things Korean ever since. She’s wanting Ramen for lunch, (which she loved anyway), we’re listening to KPop and now wrapped up in a Korean Teen drama. I am already a lover of Kimchee though I’m yet to find any as good as a local restaurant here makes, to bring home and eat. Genny is hoping to find a nice Korean boy to marry and take her to his country to live… (The last bit may be going a bit too far, but it’s all new for her so I’ll let it slide.)

6.) I’m continually reminded we aren’t in Kansas anymore, Toto. And by Kansas, I of course mean Idaho. Things here are so different and sometimes I get so caught up in normal life that I forget. There were a handful of things that happened in June which were harsh reminders… Adapt, Misty, Adapt

7.) I absolutely LOVE notes and messages from listeners of our podcast. When we started, I wasn’t sure if it would just be friends, but we get some of the sweetest notes. We don’t do it for any reason other than we believe our experiences in marriage and parenting are worth sharing because we believe there are others out there who may be able to benefit from them. If you listen, thank you! You’re the best!

8.) I am part of a Mystery Mom pen pal exchange that I love. I’ve been doing it for months, but it wasn’t until it wrapped up the end of May and restarted in June that it really hit me, how huge of an impact it is in my life. I LOVE it. If you know me at all, you KNOW that i absolutely LOVE to bless others and make them feel loved. This is so up my alley and I’m a firm believer that when things are overwhelming for you, one of the best things you can do is bless others.

9.) I NEED to shake up my work out routine…

10.) My husband is my rock. I knew this to a severe extent, but this past month he has proven himself so much more so than I could even have imagined. What I would do without him, I hope I never, ever, ever have to find out. I can honestly say if I did not have him, I doubt I would be sane, or here at all, today. As Salt ‘n Pepa would say- What a Man, What a Man, What a Man, What a Mighty Good Man…